Evan & Anton

It were late on Thursday evening.

Anton were in the bath, so it were just me—sitting half-naked, feet up on the sofa, watching Hell’s Kitchen on YouTube. One of those ten-hour-long compilations. None of it bleeped. So every five minutes, the apartment came alive with the sound of Gordon Ramsay swearing. Fuck this. Shit that. You know, the usual.

Anyway… I'd just heard someone say, “I have a suggestion… grow some balls, Devon,” when the doorbell rang.

“Get that, will you, love? I’m naked and wet here!” Anton yelled from the bathroom.

“I’m in me boxers.”

“You’re more dressed than me. Go on, Hugo Boss.”

“Ha! Whatever.”

I got up and answered the door. The delivery driver looked me up and down as I stood there in just me black boxer briefs, languishing against the doorframe.

“Erm… erm… you’re… you’re… you’re…”

“Meat Feast and American Hot with extra spicy sausage?” I raised an eyebrow as he bit his lip and nodded. I tipped him £20. 

“Keep the change." I winked and closed the door.

"Well, he were cute."

"You didn't invite him in, did you?"

"Hah! Who do you take me for?"

“So... you didn't invite him in, did you?"

"Ha! No, I didn’t. Though he looked like he were checking me out. Can’t say I blame him. He’s got eyes, after all.”

"And good sense to leave when he did, you narcissist."

"Ha! Jealousy doesn't look good on you, babe."

"Hmm. Plate those up, will you?"

"They're in boxes. We don't need plates."

"Me hands are wet, remember?"

"Ugh, fine. Do you want a knife and fork as well?"

"Just the plate."

Anton emerged from the bathroom, draped in nothing but a towel.

He sauntered over and sat on me lap, nudging me pizza box aside so he could get a better seat.

“You haven’t dried properly,” I said coyly, using the towel to wipe the grease off me hands.

“Sorry.” He weren’t sorry at all.

I towelled him off, tousling his hair.

“So, what do you want to do tonight—besides the obvious?”

“Watch a film?”

“Yeah. What did you have in mind?”

“The Full Monty?”

“We talking the film or—” I paused, then laughed, kissing his beaming, mischievous face. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Yeah, go on. Let’s watch that.”

“Aces. Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful.”